What does it mean when somebody says, "You're okay?" I cannot say how many times people say that to me when I am anything but okay.
When I'm in the gym locker room getting dressed, sometimes somebody starts reaching for the locker above mine. Having been taught manners by my mother, I say something like, "Please let me get out of the way." The answer invariably comes back, "No, no. You're okay." And the person continues to hang over me reaching for the locker.
How could she say I was okay when I was anything but? Sitting in a wheelchair makes a person short, but it doesn't render a person stupid or incapable of moving out of the way. Sitting in a chair puts a person at a difficult height in relation to other people's body parts. (You know which ones I mean.) In the gym locker room, those body parts are either sweaty and in need of showering or wet and naked. In no way is that comfortable for me or anyone else in my position. I am okay? No I'm not!
In another frequent scenario, somebody wants to walk by and, instead of asking me to move, starts to climb over me and my chair. I always say, "Please let me move." Again I get the answer, "No, no. You're okay" as the person continues to climb over me. Again, that brings me way too close to those body parts that don't belong that close. I am okay? No way!
When I offer to get out of the way, I'm being polite. I'm really not looking to find out whether or not I'm in your way. I’m telling you I don’t want you climbing over me. Persons in wheelchairs can move. That's the purpose of the wheels on the chair. So, give us a break. Don't put us in a position that you wouldn't want to be in yourself.
Next time you're tempted to tell a person in a wheelchair, "You're okay," realize that what you're really saying is, "You're not in my way." You really mean that you're okay.
Give us a minute to get out of the way. Then we will be okay.
Annette Bourbonniere
401-846-1960
Fax: 401-846-1944
Twitter: @AccessInclude
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